Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Perfect Tournament Food, Part 2

So cookies are my chosen food
For munching on the sidelines,
But sometimes, I am in the mood
For different eating guidelines.
'Cause after several tournaments
Of cookies all the time,
I start to feel reborn, immense,
Like Buddha in his prime.
But still, I need my energy,
My protein and my fat.
So how do I go sugar-free,
Unprocessed -- raw, at that?
I take a look at frisbee past
When marks didn't exist,
Before we learned to run so fast
Or throw flicks from the wrist.
"The Hippie Era," some would say,
When tossing on the lawn
Was still the only way to play,
"Bring weed" a thought foregone.
Oh, how I'm glad the game evolved,
Became an actual sport!
But still, my food problem unsolved,
To hippies I resort.
I make some vegan power bars
From healthy, raw granola;
The nuts and berries are the stars,
The oats an old friend (hola!).
"Vegan?" Relax, they're still legit--
With chocolate flavor, too!
They're just to change it up a bit.
(Cookies, I still love you.)

Monday, July 26, 2010

StarCraft Cake

Right at midnight tonight, there'll be panic
As GameStops 'round the world become manic
With a retail debut--
Holy crap, StarCraft 2!--
Its appeal reaches 'cross the Atlantic.

In Korea, the frenzy will peak;
Eager gamers will cheer, shout, and shriek,
Copies (cradled with love)
In the avid hands of
Each and every respectable geek.

When they get home, they really should try
Adding sweets to their psi or supply
Baked goods raise APMs
And start internet memes*
Although, baby, this cake's not a lie.

It fills Terran with verve and elation,
Readies Protoss for carrier creation.
Chocolate makes it OP
(Other cakes say, "GG!"),
Rushing hydras to Zerg domination.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Perfect Tournament Food

Sugars, carbs, and proteins
Are what I need today,
So don't give me no green beans--
I don't need those to play.
'Cause vitamins are good for me
But right now, I need power;
I think that we can all agree
It's junk I must devour.
Pancakes that are full of grains!
Be gen'rous with the butter
For fat will help me through the pains
It takes to be a cutter.
I'll eat McMuffins, though, alas,
McDonald's makes me sick.
Ben Wiggins says they'll make me fast
And I want to be quick!
The best thing I can nibble, though
(A tip for all you rookies)
Is made with love and fat and dough--
That's right, I must eat cookies.
Cookies filled with crushed-up nuts
Are best, without a doubt.
The protein helps me make good cuts;
The fat helps me lay out!
The carbs will hit me right away
With energy to bound
And I'll be poached the livelong day--
Baked goods don't mess around.
So in your search for frisbee food,
Let cookies end your puzzlin'.
(You know, Beau Kittredge sky'ed that dude
Because he ate a dozen!)

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Ode to Honey Bunches of Oats

On television, hard-hatted factory workers proclaim,
"The magic's in the mix!"
And truly, every day, I have not one bowl,
But at least six.
That simple alchemy of flavor,
Texture, nine essential vitamins and minerals
Wraps a honey smile 'round my flakes.
As well, their versatility I savor,
Using them in pancakes, snacks, and dinner rolls--
One spoonful isn't all it takes.
A panel on that bright, familiar cardboard box
Says Vern's big idea's to thank
For the bunches, flakes, the meaning of expensive tastes
That do not break the bank.
Now Vern's perfect invention
Enthralls, delights in ten different varieties,
Each one the real McCoy,
Each one a reliever of tension--
Pouring manna of oats over anxieties, I lie at ease,
Sit back, and taste the joy.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Winter Summer Rolls

W00t!  I -- for the weird fusion of seasons--
How I wish'd to offer one suit of reasons.

But I'll be honest; 'tis as you can surely comprehend it--
Any end reason but curiosity's, eh, complete bullshit.

Okay?  For Vietnamese din' plus squash is so enormously tasty!
Yo, it makes flavors possess you in loud manners quite hasty.

Ah!  Yummy.  Ooh gosh...I'm righting fragmentations, and--
Oh my.  Rhyming anagrams is, IMHO, getting out of hand.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Chocolate Guinness Cake


On the birthday of Irishman Stephen,
I should bake him a hoax to believe in.
He might think that it's true
That his favorite brew
Comes in cakes 'stead of cans -- how deceivin'!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Grilling Salmon

Get nice fillets of salmon from the store
(Remembering Alaska-caught is best).
In Tupperware (or bags, if you're hardcore),
Let marinate (that means to let them rest).

Light up the grill!  Put on your fine fillets!
I caution you -- don't let them overcook
Nor get engulfed in flames, outright ablaze
(Grills have a lid under which you should look).

Sear salmon for five minutes on each side
And revel in the smells that start to waft--
Like soy sauce and brown sugar on a tide
Marooned on shores of fish so moist and soft.

O, once you've tried a bite of your success,
No fried McFish exists with which you'll mess.