Sunday, August 29, 2010

Kangaroo Two Ways

Kangaroo, the other red meat,
Always grilled on blazing heat,
Never tender 'nough to eat...
Gotta try it raw -- it's neat!
And in soup, a harder feat.
Really let it stew, don't cheat;
Oh, then your heart will skip a beat--
On hearty 'roo you'll dine.  Dude, 1337.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Just Salad

Are there clear lines between salads of fruits and vegetables?
Tables cleared and lined so often with both, soaked in dressing....
Sing, muse, of the rare no-dressing-added dish;
Dish, muse, on the flavors simplicity imparts--

"Parts fresh and natural form a whole
Wholesome without need for further tampering!
Ring out the newfangled, ring in the wholesome...
Some foods are best enjoyed the way they are."

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Eggplant, or If My Dad Were Dave Chappelle

If my dad were Dave Chappelle,
Eggplant would serve as his Grape Drink.
The humor would be hard to sell,
But he could make it in a blink.
"White people, they have Healthy Food,"
He'd joke, "and some of that is valid.
But I like veggies purple-hued--
And what the **** is salad?"
With purple vegetable in tow,
He'd be on Comedy Central late
And soon, his audience would know
Just how to cook that Chinese plate.
For just one line'd explain it all,
The dish his daughter loves a ton.
"That's the ingredients," he'd call,
"Sugar, soy sauce, purple."  Done.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Tim Tam Slam

Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am--
Thus is the way with the Tim Tam Slam.
It started with a cookie sweeter than jam,
Biscuits loving chocolate like Jim and Pam.
Along came a beverage warm as Siam,
Fresh and wholesome as a lamb
And smooth as River Tam...
And into my cup my Tim Tam swam.

What they say about Tim Tams is no scam;
That they double as straws is far from a sham!
Both ends bitten off of my sweet Tim Tam--
Oh, that sweet Tim Tam that was sweeter than jam--
Warm soy milk became a battering ram,
Crashing at the head of a melting chocolate dam...
And then, in an instant, the dam broke.  Damn!

I reveled in the flavors, happy as a clam,
And even now that I'm done, I'm smiling, I am!
How many Tim Tams could I cram
Into one sipping 'fore my drink went on the lam?
Nine cookie-straws in all, a tasty traffic jam.
I say this as a challenge, a fun little exam--
Can you beat me in the number that you jam,
The number that you jam into one sipping, madame?
Because I want you -- this, I say like Uncle Sam--
I want you to try a Tim Tam Slam.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


Just like your name, you start out quick
Pick yourself up out of backs of minds
Explode a little
Then linger--

Some say you taste like soap to them
What a shame, to taste soap where you are.
To me, you taste like earth
Zest and herb and essence all in one
One sprig.

Saturday, August 7, 2010


Mostly prepared from recipes
Mass-produced for restaurants,
My peculiar food's refreshing--
Minted personally, fixed regardfully,
Miscellaneous parts forming results,
Mad planning finally realized....

Mmmm, perfect -- for real.
Manly pineapple fried rice
Makes proper farewells right.